Natural Weight Loss Resources

Dear Friends,

So the million dollar question is “How do you love and accept yourself exactly as you are and not rely on external circumstances to determine your self-worth?” If I could bottle this solution, I would be extremely wealthy!

I made a list of what I call my “peace robbers,” things that I tend to worry about and fret over, things that repeatedly rob me of my inner peace. For example, sometimes I allow myself to feel rejected by others, and I give them my power. In other words, by giving them my power, I allow them to determine my feelings of self-worth and hence my mood.

So I do a tapping sequence by rubbing my sore spot and saying “Even though I feel rejected by others and give them my power, I am now willing to release this limiting belief and love & accept myself as I am right now.” I also follow some tips from Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

I look in the mirror and say “I love you, Angie, as you are. I really love you.” This may be hard to do at first, and the more resistant you are to doing it, the more you need to do it to heal a part of you. It will get easier.

Next, any time negative thoughts come up, especially self-criticism, instead of fighting the emotion, I just go within and feel the emotion (get out of my mind/head). I allow the emotion to exist, and then, amazingly, it dissipates. I might also say “I am aware that my ego is creating this situation and feeling of separatism, and I choose to reclaim my power now.”

I can say this as many times as necessary. I will always have thoughts that try to convince me to feel bad, and my awareness is what saves me.

Imagine yourself as a small, frightened child, because this part does exist inside of you. Would you criticize this little child and berate her because she was afraid, or would you compassionately reassure her that all is okay and she is safe? You would do the latter. Why should you treat yourself any differently? Do not tolerate any self-criticism. It doesn’t serve you or anyone else in any way. Protect your inner child.

You will be well on your way to self-acceptance if you will begin to practice these simple and practical, yet powerful, exercises. Create a wonderful day!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com/squeeze.html

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

In the last article I spoke about food guilt, and now I want to show how it’s related to my obsession for the perfect weight.  These last two days I’ve felt frustrated and somewhat defective for my body not releasing weight quickly enough,  even though my food choices have gotten much healthier.  

I’m pretty certain it is not my food that keeps me heavier than I’d like to be.  I know my eight-year-old within doesn’t want to release the weight (as I’ve discussed in another blog) because the weight keeps me strong.  It’s strange because I have not been conversing with this part of me about it to “convince” her to allow the weight release.  Maybe there is a bigger lesson for me?

Day 11 (July 13) of my consciousness cleanse was on Acceptance, and it seemed appropriate.  My created mantra was “I love and appreciate my body and send it loving kindness.”  I don’t believe I’ve truly relaxed into life yet and that keeps the weight on.  A couple of days ago I was fine with my body.  I had even told my coach that if I don’t release the 15 pounds, I’m fine with that.  I think my ego has reared its head today, saying, “Oh you think you’re going to be at peace with your body?  I’ll show you!”  hahahah  It’s really kind of funny.

The food guilt just adds to the drama.  I don’t always fully enjoy my food choices and savor them because I’m fearful that I’m making the wrong choices for me, that I’m making choices that will keep me overweight.  As a result, I don’t ever quite relax.  Even on good days when I don’t consciously worry about food or body image, I believe that I am worried subconsciously.

My ego that so identifies with form (anything in the material world) wants to keep me on constant vigil.  It keeps telling me it isn’t safe to relax.  I know this is diseased thinking.  Most days, I don’t think about it actively, but it’s like a silent partner in my subconscious mind.  It will surface if anything negative happens.  I just realized why it reared its head yesterday. 

I judged someone in my mind for being irresponsible and lazy, and in so doing, I separated myself with attack thoughts.   And then I even gossiped very briefly about this person with my Mom.  As I spoke to her, I could feel my ego expanding and my peace leaving. 

So I guess I do need to stay on constant vigil with my egoic thoughts and keep them in check.  As long as I do this, I expect that I won’t have to constantly judge my food choices.  I bet food doesn’t like being judged any more than people.  I say this in jest, but I know there is truth to it because everyting is made of energy.  If I think what I’m putting in my mouth is “bad,” it won’t digest and assimilate into my body as well.

So what have I learned?  I need to stay alert to my diseased thinking and ask myself if my food choice is right for me in the moment, whether it’s cooked, raw, or some variation.  I need to stop judging my food so strictly, give myself a chance to relax and know I’m doing the food thing perfectly because it is my best right now.  I will send love to my food and bless it as I currently do. 

This morning, I did bikram yoga before work.  Of course, Universe planted this gorgeous, perfect-looking woman right in front of me who was obviously very advanced in her practice, as she had perfected many of the poses.  Surprisingly,  my thighs didn’t look fatter to me (you know how our minds can distort things when we feel badly about ourselves).

I was aware that I felt some envy of her.  Rather quickly, I also realized that God had put this woman there for me to feel insecure, to bring up the frustration associated with the thought,  ”Why can’t I be thinner?!” so that I could reclaim my power from it.

My ego wants to convince me that I’m inferior because my physical form is not as appealing as others.  My ego definitely wants me to identify with my form.  It’s such a strong pull, isn’t it?  I know that my greater lesson in all of this is to learn detachment from my body form.  That is not to say I shouldn’t nurture and care for my body and love it and feed it healthy food and thought. 

When I say I want to detach from my body, I mean that I want to keep a healthy perspective about my body.  I want to lovingly accept what is. Our bodies will get old and eventually deteriorate and die.  While I’m vibrantly healthy, I want to appreciate this.  I want to send love and appreciation to fine specimens of the human body like that woman in my yoga class, not jealousy or envy because “she can do it better than me.”  That is pure ego.

So awareness is key.  Next, I will keep feeding myself healthy thoughts that I’m really a magnificent being merely using this body for a vehicle.  I will also allow myself to feel frustration and then release it. 

 This is just food for thought….and I hope it helps you!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

Yesterday I was talking to my coach about how much I enjoyed eating out at this Thai place (I actually had grouper in coconut curry sauce with white rice and I ordered sticky sweet rice with mango to go).   So to eat white rice is not my idea of healthy eating, and it was all cooked.  Even though, I really savored and enjoyed the food!  That sticky rice was the best, and I ate only half of it later on that night and saved the rest for the next day.  What a treat and I had no guilt.

I’ve been eating mostly raw, and I can really set high standards for myself.  I know eating raw food is the best way to go for me, but I tend to be overzealous in my opinions about other foods.  Not only do I discriminate against highly processed, greasy, sugary foods which I don’t eat, I am overly critical of anything not raw.  When I don’t eat raw, I eat healthy cooked food.  I would have opted for brown rice over white if they’d had it.  But they didn’t and so I adjusted. 

I tend to expend a lot of energy thinking about my food choices.  Lately I’ve experimented with making raw desserts made from raw nuts, cacao, dates, agave nectar, fruit, etc.  They are so delicious that I feel like I should feel guilty for eating them.  In fact, I feel like having one in the evening. 

Do you ever feel like rewarding yourself at night at the end of a long day with food?  Well, I do that.  I’m not overeating, but still….there’s that voice that says you don’t really need to eat that and it’s probably keeping you overweight…shame on you, Angie.  I’m eating more for pleasure than pain avoidance.  I don’t necessarily think this is “bad,” but I do not welcome the associated guilt. 

So what am I doing about it?  In my next article I go into more depth and explain how I’m handling it and how this ties in with my body image.  They are definitely related. 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I head out for a family vacation tomorrow to Maine!  I’ve never been there before and so I’m looking forward to it.  It’s always a little scary for me to radically change my routine, although I do love to travel and see new places and meet new people and experience their culture. 

Mostly, I want to feel good about my food choices, and I have no idea what to expect.  Plus, I can’t take my Athena water machine with me, and so I’ll be left drinking the local water.  And maybe most important of all, I never know exactly how much time and space I’ll have to do my morning ritual of prayer, mediation, journaling and now this Consciousness Cleanse.  I have to share a smaller living space with my family.

Although I love my family, sometimes I am challenged with going with the flow with my two, teenaged daughters.  They can be a little persnickety, if you know what I mean.  If you know me, then you know I love lighthouses, and Maine offers lighthouse tours.  I intend to do one of those and also some whitewater rafting, a wild animal tour, shopping, hiking, you name it.

You ever feel like when you go on vacation you have these high expectations?  My husband is that way, and he gets doubly excited to go because 1) We get to experience something new, 2) We have time freedom, and 3) He gets away from his job.  I am looking forward to going, but it’s not because I’m getting away from my current reality.  I don’t feel trapped in my current life, but he does.

So whenever I set up these high expectations of how something should go, I set myself up for disappointment.  It’s best if I keep the slate clear of any demands on reality.  Reality will behave as it will without my ordering up the perfect vacation.  This is not to say I don’t expect to have fun, because fully appreciating the present moment and really living in it IS fun!  I can do that most anywhere, not just Maine. 

So have a wonderful week and I’ll talk to you in a week!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I think that the answer to ALL of my problems is self-love and self-acceptance.  Being a compulsive personality, it’s easy for me to want everything perfect and orderly and planned out.

As a result, I like to set goals for myself and set up all sorts of expectations about where I should be at in my life, with career, body weight and size, spiritual health, relationships, etc.   After all, I’m very familiar with the law of attraction and how thoughts are things that vibrate and reflect back to me my current reality.

The problem is that sometimes I get stuck in what I call “stinking thinking.”  I know how my thinking actually magnifies to me what I believe about the world, and if my beliefs are negative, then I can expect pain and suffering.

The other problem is that I get so caught up in HOW I’m going to accomplish my desires (back to the goal-setting) that I can easily lose my serenity.

When I really began to scrutinize my goals (for example, to be financially independent and a magnate for Divine prosperity and to be a normal size 6), I asked myself why do I want these things?

Well, I want to have enough money so that I can have enough time to do exactly as I want (travel, create, help others to heal, be with my family, etc.).  Why do I want these things?  So that I can feel at peace within myself.

I want to be a couple sizes smaller because I want to feel at peace with my body ALL of the time (not just sometimes). But it’s inaccurate to think I’ll be at peace if I release weight.  I’ll stay be the same person with distorted thinking in a thinner body.  Ironically, the weight just gives me a reason to be distracted from finding peace.

So ultimately, I just want peace and to feel safe and loved.  How do I get that?  By loving and accepting myself exactly as I am right now with no strings attached and by loving what is my current reality (continued in part II).

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko

PS:  If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom?  Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com/squeeze.html

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I’ve been speaking about bringing Presence (a dimension of consciousness and awareness) into our daily lives and making that our main purpose.  
Per Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth), as we begin to dis-identify with our thoughts, emotions and reactions by recognizing them for what they are, our sense of self shifts from being the thoughts, emotions and reactions to being the awareness, the conscious Presence that witnesses those states. 

How can this help with parenting?  I know I’m guilty of giving my kids too much of the kind of attention that Eckhart Tolle calls ”form-based.” Form-based attention is connected with doing or evaluating. 

It seems I’m always asking my girls if they did a certain chore, their homework, took their vitamins, emptied the dishwasher, picked up our dog’s “Easter eggs,” and on and on.  The list is endless.

When I realized this I began to feel guilty for how little time I spend in formless attention with them.  That gave me an opportunity to release the guilt and just honor my current awareness.  It’s so easy to get bogged down in daily life that we forget to just be.

So how can we spend formless time with our loved ones, time devoted to just being?  When we interact with them, we can truly listen, be present to their needs, not thinking about future tasks, but just Being there.  Their soul will feel this, and we will feel great.  I’ve had these wonderful moments with my kids, and I intend to make them habits with the help of Holy Spirit.

When we truly engage with our children at the level of Being, per Tolle, “In that moment, if you are present, you are not a father or mother.  You are the alertness, the stillness, the Presence that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking.  You are the Being behind the doing.”

If our children act out and seem resentful and angry, maybe it’s because they don’t feel recognized.  Tolle explains how we are obviously superior to our child in the human dimension of form (bigger, stronger, know more), and that we may love our children, but that love is conditional, possessive, intermittent.  

He goes on to say,  “Only beyond form, in Being, are you equal, and only when you find the formless dimension in yourself can there be true love in that relationship.   The Presence that you are, the timeless I Am, recognizes itself in another, and the other, the child in this case, feels loved, that is to say, recognized.”

“To love is to recognize yourself in another.  The other’s ‘otherness’ then stands revealed as an illusion pertaining to the purely human realm, the realm of form.  The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognized, not on the level of form, but on the level of Being.”

This is so powerful to me!  We can’t fool our kids.  They know if we’re not really there for them.  We can DO everything in the world for them, including trying to rescue them and prevent their mistakes, and it will never be enough if we don’t give them our true heart and soul and Presence. 

We can apply this Presence to everyone in our lives, not just our kids.  I hope you find this as enlightening as I did and such a great reminder to be present to those around us.  Have a Present day!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

So what happens when we let go of our agenda?  It feels unnatural and like there is a gap there that we need to fill in with activity.  Just being has been difficult for me.  Being available to the moment, to what comes next. 

I’m not necessarily saying not to set goals.  I think the biggest benefit of goal setting is to cause us to feel uncomfortable when we set them and stir up emotion so that we then have an opportunity to reclaim our power from the negative emotion and discomfort.  I also think it’s important to set goals and then let them go, not caring if they manifest. 

Aren’t the best days when things just flow to us, we allow the good, we feel connected to the moments, we are present in the moment, we are Presence? 

When I’m attached to my agenda, I’m constantly analyzing and judging how well I’m doing.  Then at day end, I evaluate if I can feel good enough?  My ego will always tell me NO, because it has an insatiable appetite for more, more, more.

Eckhart Tolle tells a powerful story about a woman in her thirties who came to see him.  She was very unhappy and completely identified with her emotional pain and thoughts from an abusive childhood.  He asked her to focus on the feeling inside of her body and sense the emotion directly.  She began to cry, her body shaking.  He asked her if it was possible for her to completely accept how she felt in that very moment.

She angrily said, “No, I don’t want to accept this.”  But he encouraged her to sit with the feelings and see if it was possible to allow them.  After a minute or so, she said, “This is weird.  I’m still unhappy, but now there is space around it.  It seems to matter less.”

When she stopped resisting and directly focused on her pain, it could no longer control her.  Per Tolle, “Another dimension had come into her life that transcended her personal past–the dimension of Presence.  Since you cannot be unhappy without an unhappy story, this was the end of her unhappiness…emotion in itself is not unhappiness.  Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.”

Tolle had witnessed the arising of Presence in another human being. How fulfilling is that!  As a coach, I have witnessed the same in myself and in others.  It is what I love about being a coach! 

Tolle explains that, “The very reason for our existence in human form is to bring that dimension of consciousness into this world.  I had also witnessed a diminishment of the pain-body, not through fighting it but through bringing the light of consciousness to it.”

I have been experiencing more of this Presence in myself as I allow it and actually ask God/Holy Spirit to show me how to act, think, speak and feel.  It is very comforting to me to know that as I live my life, I don’t have to gauge my success on how well I’ve met my lengthy agenda.  Instead, I can ask if I’ve allowed more Presence to shine through myself that day.  It’s not easy, but it is more fulfilling!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I have always been very hard on myself.  Somewhere along the way, I learned that working hard equated to making money.  The harder I work, the more money I make.  Is it any wonder that subconsciously I don’t want to be more “successful”?  I’d like to think I don’t get my kicks by working my butt off, but considering my natural inclination to burnout, maybe I do? 

My conclusion:  I do subconsciously want to work hard and burn out (because that’s what I do), and, at the same time, my subconscious mind won’t let me go further because it fears I might actually die.  So I put the brakes on so that I’m not TOO successful or great.  

I keep listening to my inner voice that says, “You already have to work too hard to be where you’re at, and you can’t handle any more.  Life is tough.  Making money is tough.  Clients are difficult and unwilling to change when it comes right down to it, and so why even try?  You aren’t creative enough.  You don’t deserve more than this.  Being happy and abundant aren’t natural ways of being.  Just stop with it all.”

Right now, I’m on day seven of a 21-day Consciousness Cleanse through Debbie Ford’s book  called the same (a couple of months ago it was a physical cleanse and now this).  It’s like a soul journey to awaken my consciousness.  In conjunction, I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.  Both processes are revealing insights to me.

For example, being  strongly attached to meeting agendas  and to-do lists my entire life, I find this needing-to-perform aspect of my ego very tough to relinquish.    It’s much easier for me to be HUMAN than for me to be BEING.

I haven’t felt like writing the last two Fridays, like I normally do, mostly because I think I just needed to rest my mind and relax.  Even now part of me doesn’t want to write but not because I’m being a rebel or need to rest.  It’s that part of me that says if I do decide to write, ONLY do it because I really want to and not because I’ll feel like a failure if I don’t. 

This is really new thinking for me.  1) I didn’t write the last two weeks when I didn’t feel like it; and 2) I am actually writing now because I was inspired to share this process with you.  I sense that this means I’m letting go of pleasing others and following my own heart and soul guidance.  Yay!

I’m changing my behaviors by becoming aware of my beliefs/thoughts/emotions, acknowledging and feeling them without judgment, releasing them and reclaiming my power.  It’s a pretty cool process!  Read more along this line on my next article. 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

One of my goals for the session was to learn which part of me wanted to retain an extra fifteen pounds.  No matter what I seemed to do physically, very healthy eating and exercising, this extra weight remains.  She was my last part to show up.  She seemed afraid and said I was really mad at her, and she was right.

I started to put on weight when I was about eight years old.  So this is the part of me that decided to talk.  She explained that she wanted to be overweight so that she could be big and strong and protect Mom from Dad, who physically abused Mom.

The extra weight did, in fact, come in handy just about three years later, when she and her brother kept Dad from harming Mom because of their ability and strength to hold him back. 

I felt such compassion for my eight-year-old, and I thanked her for keeping us safe and for teaching me to be strong and tenacious and courageous.  I then asked her to help me release the weight because it was no longer needed to make me strong.  I was already strong and could protect myself.  Mom was no longer in danger.  That was then, and this is now.

I have followed up with this session by tapping and keeping dialog open with her.  Our subconscious mind records everything, and it’s been replaying the movie/record that I need to be overweight to be strong.  Changing the record or re-programming the past and our beliefs is a process, not usually a one-time deal.

So I will continue to speak to my eight-year-old and re-assure her she’s safe.  Tapping greatly expedites this process, and it puts us into a light, hypnotic state in which we are able to talk to our subconscious mind.  What I’ve concluded after meeting these parts of myself is that there is no good or bad part of me. 

All of me is worthy, and I just need to make friends with all of me.  So I’ve made some new agreements that will require me to partner with my parts, collaborate with them.   This is much easier than fighting my subconscious mind, because I’ll always lose.

To learn more about meeting your parts, join my free, 1/2 hour conference calls on this topic.  The next call is July 6th at 8pm CT.  Contact me if you want more details.

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I enjoyed meeting my sixteen-year-old self.  She was the tenacious, lively part of me who wasn’t afraid to take risks, and she knew exactly what she wanted and went for it.  She was confident and vibrantly alive and spunky. 

This was a time in my life when I’d began dating a much older man.  I had won Homecoming and Prom Queen of my junior year in high school, and I graduated one year early with honors, at the age of 16.  I also started college that summer.  I was sexually confident.  I was going places.

This is also the part of me who is selfish and wants what she wants and needs to be right.  I have asked her to think things through more carefully and also to come forward in the bedroom and help me to be more “alive” in that capacity.  It’s so easy to allow my eleven-year-old to take over with responsibilities and chores and work so hard that when it’s time to be intimate with my husband, I have little energy left, and being close becomes a lesser priority. This is not fair to him or myself. 

Even though I admire her spunky qualities, my adult goal is balance and harmony and not to be extreme in any one area, such as needing a man.  She felt she needed a man to be fully defined and to receive love.  She was searching for the love of her Dad, of which she felt deprived. 

I have re-assured her that she doesn’t need any person to be loved.  She doesn’t need to be right in order to be loved.  She is already loved!   I thanked her for the spice and courage she has brought to my life.  Pretty cool!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog