Natural Weight Loss Resources

Dear Friends,

I head out for a family vacation tomorrow to Maine!  I’ve never been there before and so I’m looking forward to it.  It’s always a little scary for me to radically change my routine, although I do love to travel and see new places and meet new people and experience their culture. 

Mostly, I want to feel good about my food choices, and I have no idea what to expect.  Plus, I can’t take my Athena water machine with me, and so I’ll be left drinking the local water.  And maybe most important of all, I never know exactly how much time and space I’ll have to do my morning ritual of prayer, mediation, journaling and now this Consciousness Cleanse.  I have to share a smaller living space with my family.

Although I love my family, sometimes I am challenged with going with the flow with my two, teenaged daughters.  They can be a little persnickety, if you know what I mean.  If you know me, then you know I love lighthouses, and Maine offers lighthouse tours.  I intend to do one of those and also some whitewater rafting, a wild animal tour, shopping, hiking, you name it.

You ever feel like when you go on vacation you have these high expectations?  My husband is that way, and he gets doubly excited to go because 1) We get to experience something new, 2) We have time freedom, and 3) He gets away from his job.  I am looking forward to going, but it’s not because I’m getting away from my current reality.  I don’t feel trapped in my current life, but he does.

So whenever I set up these high expectations of how something should go, I set myself up for disappointment.  It’s best if I keep the slate clear of any demands on reality.  Reality will behave as it will without my ordering up the perfect vacation.  This is not to say I don’t expect to have fun, because fully appreciating the present moment and really living in it IS fun!  I can do that most anywhere, not just Maine. 

So have a wonderful week and I’ll talk to you in a week!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

One of my goals for the session was to learn which part of me wanted to retain an extra fifteen pounds.  No matter what I seemed to do physically, very healthy eating and exercising, this extra weight remains.  She was my last part to show up.  She seemed afraid and said I was really mad at her, and she was right.

I started to put on weight when I was about eight years old.  So this is the part of me that decided to talk.  She explained that she wanted to be overweight so that she could be big and strong and protect Mom from Dad, who physically abused Mom.

The extra weight did, in fact, come in handy just about three years later, when she and her brother kept Dad from harming Mom because of their ability and strength to hold him back. 

I felt such compassion for my eight-year-old, and I thanked her for keeping us safe and for teaching me to be strong and tenacious and courageous.  I then asked her to help me release the weight because it was no longer needed to make me strong.  I was already strong and could protect myself.  Mom was no longer in danger.  That was then, and this is now.

I have followed up with this session by tapping and keeping dialog open with her.  Our subconscious mind records everything, and it’s been replaying the movie/record that I need to be overweight to be strong.  Changing the record or re-programming the past and our beliefs is a process, not usually a one-time deal.

So I will continue to speak to my eight-year-old and re-assure her she’s safe.  Tapping greatly expedites this process, and it puts us into a light, hypnotic state in which we are able to talk to our subconscious mind.  What I’ve concluded after meeting these parts of myself is that there is no good or bad part of me. 

All of me is worthy, and I just need to make friends with all of me.  So I’ve made some new agreements that will require me to partner with my parts, collaborate with them.   This is much easier than fighting my subconscious mind, because I’ll always lose.

To learn more about meeting your parts, join my free, 1/2 hour conference calls on this topic.  The next call is July 6th at 8pm CT.  Contact me if you want more details.

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I enjoyed meeting my sixteen-year-old self.  She was the tenacious, lively part of me who wasn’t afraid to take risks, and she knew exactly what she wanted and went for it.  She was confident and vibrantly alive and spunky. 

This was a time in my life when I’d began dating a much older man.  I had won Homecoming and Prom Queen of my junior year in high school, and I graduated one year early with honors, at the age of 16.  I also started college that summer.  I was sexually confident.  I was going places.

This is also the part of me who is selfish and wants what she wants and needs to be right.  I have asked her to think things through more carefully and also to come forward in the bedroom and help me to be more “alive” in that capacity.  It’s so easy to allow my eleven-year-old to take over with responsibilities and chores and work so hard that when it’s time to be intimate with my husband, I have little energy left, and being close becomes a lesser priority. This is not fair to him or myself. 

Even though I admire her spunky qualities, my adult goal is balance and harmony and not to be extreme in any one area, such as needing a man.  She felt she needed a man to be fully defined and to receive love.  She was searching for the love of her Dad, of which she felt deprived. 

I have re-assured her that she doesn’t need any person to be loved.  She doesn’t need to be right in order to be loved.  She is already loved!   I thanked her for the spice and courage she has brought to my life.  Pretty cool!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I next met my eleven-year-old self in my hypnotherapy session.  She taught me a belief in scarcity and rejection.  At this age, I began to subconsciously feel rejected.  My Mom and Dad divorced, and although I welcomed the absence of tension and parental conflict, I felt somehow flawed and rejected. Why would Dad leave us and not maintain regular contact?  I didn’t like him but I did need his love. 

I began to feel I wasn’t enough because my own Dad didn’t love or want me.  This feeling of being unworthy led me to believe I had to perform or DO things to prove myself worthy.  If I’m not enough at the core, then I won’t have enough time to get done all of the activities needed to get done to allow myself to feel I’d earned the reward of relaxing and feeling good about myself.

If I can never do enough to feel this worthiness, then I’d never be able to earn enough money to feel secure.  I wouldn’t be capable of allowing money to come easily to me because I must work hard for it.  “Nothing good comes easy” and “You must pay your dues” come to mind.

These are strong, ingrained beliefs for me.  Are they true?  My eleven-year-old says they are.  I thanked her for teaching me to be a motivated action taker with a strong desire to succeed.  I also explained that working excessively to reach a goal or to feel worthy is a fruitless endeavor.  I told her to work to have fun–she’s already worthy!

When money comes easily because I love what I do, then there IS enough of it.  I AM abundant now!  I will need to continue to convince her of this because she’s not totally buying it.  I will keep persisting because I know that when I completely believe that I am abundant and accepted, life will become a breeze for me. The struggle will be over, and the anxiety will melt away.

The key here is to acknowledge what my part did for me (gave me motivation, desire, success and results) and also acknowledge how she is hurting me in the present moment (potential burnout, lack of direction, feelings of inadequacy and rejection).  I honor all of these aspects of her and forgive her and thank her and really listen to her with respect.  Lastly, I let it all go and surrender it to my Higher Self.

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I had a wonderful hypnotherapy session with Dawn Ferguson, in which I met four different parts of my younger self.  The first part that showed up for me was my six-year-old self.  I could see her, so vulnerable, curly hair and missing teeth.  At this age, much of my fear and anxiety was born, which resulted in psoriasis on my scalp and biting my lips.   I have this ever-present, low-grade anxiety.

She was very upset because her whole world had been turned upside down with the sudden death of her sixteen-year-old Aunt, her buddy.  Elaine was the 4th child and only girl of her paternal Grandma, her daytime caretaker.  Elaine developed a large, cancerous tumor in her chest and passed within two weeks of diagnosis.  Elaine was born on 9/23, the same day as Angie, but ten years earlier.

About a month before her death, Angie was sitting in the car with her Aunt and her Aunt’s boyfriend.  Elaine asked young Angie to leave so she could be alone with Jim, and Angie got very upset and said, “I hate you and I hope you die!”  For a long time after Elaine’s death, guilt plagued Angie because she felt responsible.

So six-year-old Angie was dealing not only with guilt and fear that her words were powerful enough to cause her aunt’s death, she had lost her support system in her Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, and Uncle who were deeply grieving this loss. 

So in hypnosis, I was able to comfort my six-year-old and also to meet my Aunt Elaine.  She re-assured me it wasn’t my fault and told me how proud of me she was.  I cried and cried while under hypnosis.  It was very scary to re-visit this time, and it was also very healing.  I feel much more at peace.

I had previously tapped on this, but I’d not completely cleared the trauma.  With this session, I feel like I can relax and that I’m not responsible to rescue or save poor, helpless souls out there.

Since Elaine’s death, I began a pattern of attracting friends who I could help or rescue, probably as a way to redeem myself from “killing” my Aunt.  It also helped me to fixate on people’s victim natures.  Now it’s easier for me to see others’ strength and invulnerability.  My six-year-old taught me compassion, which is a gift I’m very grateful for.  I’ve thanked her for that and asked her to just relax.  Wow!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I don’t know if you’re like me, but the littlest things drive me nuts!  A long time ago I learned that keeping my environment neat and orderly kept me safe.  Last night when I got home from work, I went into the living room, where my daughter had untied the curtains from behind their tie backs, to make it dark in the room to watch a movie.  Well, the curtain strings had fallen off their hooks and back behind the couch.

For one thing, I don’t like a dark room; I like lots of light.  And two, it’s very difficult to retrieve the strings from behind the couch without moving the couch.  And three, she didn’t do it herself, despite my telling her on numerous occasions to do so!  You wouldn’t think such a small thing would bring out my anger but it did.  Lately it seems the little kid inside of me wants to get upset at the slightest reproach or inconvenience.

What is she (my inner brat) trying to tell me?  I have also felt like just being alone, and then guilt ensues because I wonder if I’m selfish.  What are these messages trying to convey?  It could be as simple as get more sleep and don’t eat dinner so late at night.  Eating dinner late allows me to go to sleep with a full stomach, during a time when my food doesn’t digest as well, and I don’t get as quality of sleep either.  So this affects my weight because fat burns less efficiently while I’m sleeping, and it affects my moods.  My moods can cause stress which also negatively impacts my weight. 

Maybe my inner child is smarter than I give her credit, if I’ll just listen.  Are you REALLY listening to the messages your emotions and body are sending you?  It might be a good time to start.  Happy Friday!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I’m celebrating my daughter, Maddie’s, birthday this weekend.   We’re doing it a week early since she’s supposed to be at her Dad’s next weekend.  She turns fourteen on 4/18.  Hard to believe!  Maddie was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when she was 5 days old.  She has always been very healthy.  She has the normal CF cough and does daily percussion drainage treatments and takes enzymes before each meal.  Other than that, her life is pretty normal.  She full of energy and loves to dance.  I rarely ever hear her complain about her CF.

I have always had a tendency to want to control her, mostly out of fear and the need to protect her.  The more I grow up, the less I need to control her.  I am beginning to realize that she has her own life path, and truly she is not my child.  She belongs to God, as we all do.  So when I see her create suffering for herself, I have to consciously remind myself to back away and let her go through it.  As a coach, I will make her aware of empowering philosophies and techniques and beliefs.  It’s up to her, however, to adopt the beliefs and pick up the techniques.

I’d be lying if I said I was perfectly detached from her pain.  But if I’m really brutally honest with myself, isn’t it my pain that I guard against?  I don’t feel good when she is hurting.  If I should witness her death, I don’t want to go through the pain of losing her and the loneliness I would feel to no longer see her bright smiling face and beautiful blue eyes. 

What comforts me is knowing that we’re never really apart or separate.  We live in each others’ hearts and minds.  None of us is guaranteed a long life.  This came as a shock to me because I plan on living healthily to age 100.  I am quite serious.  But….maybe God has other plans for me.  So for today, I practice gratitude that I am alive in this body and can smell the fragrant blooms of spring and can hug my daughter.  I can remember her day of birth like it was yesterday.  All is well.

Happy Birthday, Maddie, my beautiful, precious daughter!

Love,

Angie

Dear Friends,

Today I feel tired.  Maybe  it’s because I’ve had a busy week and I just need down time to recharge.  Part of me wants to fight this feeling and be angry that I’m not more energetic because I still have a lot to get done.  I have a weekly assignment to write three blog articles and I do it on Fridays.  I have about forty minutes to do this, and I’m wondering how on earth I’m going to get it done.  What if I don’t get it done?

My next tendency is to not feel as good about my day.  I “judge” my day as unproductive, although I did do some things that I wanted to.  As I said last week, I need to focus on my successes, and not what I didn’t do.  Even though I tend to harshly judge my productivity, I realize that I must be in a relaxed state to write.  So I took a little nap.

I really love naps, don’t you?  They are luxurious to me.  So I honor myself by not fighting my feelings.  Will you join me in this little self-indulgence?  This weather is absolutely gorgeous in St. Louis, and I’m so appreciative of that.   So instead of worrying whether I will think of anything more to write, I am going to rejoice that God made such lovely spring days as today.  Notice the fullness and beauty of the trees’ blooms and the smell!  Certainly the smell represents the fragrance of heaven.  I am already feeling more energy when I go to gratitude.

Create a wonderful day!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

Let’s Connect: FaceBook  Twitter  Linked In  My Blog

Dear Friends,

I began reading A Course in Miracles just about a month or so ago.  I am really loving it!  I  purchased it about a year ago and started reading it, but at the time, it seemed too complicated.  I had been reading a chapter daily from the Bible.  This is how I begin to initiate change.  Sometimes it feels daunting to make the time to read a whole book, like the Bible or ACIM, which is VERY long.  So I just read a little bit each day.  This seems to work, and at least I’m making progress.

So I put down the Bible and began reading ACIM instead, which is a book scribed by Helen Schucman, a channel for Jesus.  What I’m about to write now is probably pretty controversial but I want to write what is in my heart, and I can’t be afraid of what you think of me. 

I grew up as a Christian in the Methodist Church.  It was a very small church in a small town.  I went to Sunday school regularly but then stopped attending as a teenager since my immediate family didn’t go.  When I was about 18 years old, I began going to a Lutheran church where my boyfriend’s (husband-to-be) parents went.  I took communion classes and was officially baptized at this church. It was steeped in tradition and the songs were a little boring, but I did find it comforting.  I got involved with administrative committees and felt accepted there.

Then I married my first husband in 1992, after dating 7 years.   He was against organized religion and complained about my involvement in the church.  He accused me of being naïve with a child dependence on God.  My faith was fragile back then.  I actually wrote a letter to the church, revoking my membership and explaining that I’d no longer be going.  To this day, I’m surprised at myself for doing this and how much I relinquished my power to my husband.

About five years later, I began to study other religions, like Bhuddism, and I felt I was changing inside.  I wanted to expand my world.  I didn’t want anyone holding me back, trying to tell me what to believe or think or do.  In 2008, nearly 16 years later, I decided to go back to church.  This time I was referred to a place about 5 minutes from my home that I didn’t even know existed, the Soul Esteem Center (SEC), a non-denominational, metaphysical community of like-minded folks.  I fell in love with the SEC and its message of love and openness.  I didn’t feel any judgment that I would go to hell if I didn’t accept Jesus as the only way to Heaven. 

I decided to read the Bible over a year ago to decide for myself what I thought.  My spiritual director, who I began working with months after I’d started reading it, advised that I skip to the New Testament.  Good advice.  Even then, parts of it just confused me, especially about the Second Coming and Judgment Day and all of that.  I too easily interpreted passages as breeding separatism and judgment. 

I’ve never been able to come to peace with the idea that Jesus was the only way to Heaven; it seemed exclusionary and unfair.  What about all of the people who grew up, being taught different religions and beliefs?  They are going to be damned forever to hell?  This just didn’t make sense to me.  So that is when I received inner guidance to read ACIM instead.

This has made all of the difference.  I was now ready to read ACIM.  In fact, I can hardly put it down after reading a couple of pages each morning (remember these are words directly spoken to Helen from Jesus).  I realize that Christ is not just referring to Jesus. 

Christ is, according to the ACIM, “The extension of God; God’s one Son and one creation; the single Self that is shared by all minds, all of whom are equal members of the Sonship.  Does not refer to Jesus, who is simply one of these members, one who has fully awakened to our shared Identity as Christ.”

The Son of God is defined as such: The true Identity of each person and every living thing. The one Son of God is composed of an infinite number of parts or Sons.  Each one of these Sons is both part of the whole and all of the whole….This term does not refer exclusively to Jesus, who is merely one of the Sons, one who has awakened.

These ideas really helped me to see that we are all one, and that we have been creating this idea of separatism.  This book, ACIM, has so much wisdom.  I’m not knocking the Bible or its inherent wisdom.  I’m simply saying that ACIM is helping me to understand the metaphor/symbols of the Bible.  I’m resolving an inner conflict I’ve had for a long time. You might want to check it out!  There is so much more….. 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS:  If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom?  Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com/squeeze.html

Dear Friends,

I just wrote an article about not having enough joy in my life (See What do you detest/resent in others?); you might want to read that before this one, since they are related.  I tend to be a type A personality and have a strong need for perfection.  When I was 13 years old, I learned that if I produced (I was challenged to get all A’s in 8th grade–no A-s), I received approval from my Dad.  So produce I did. 

The problem is that I never seem to produce enough to feel self-love and self-acceptance, although this is changing within me now.  I do feel tired at times, and I get grouchy with the kids and my husband, and I don’t make enough time for them.  I admit that I’m doing my very best, and I need to lighten up on myself. 

I  watched this really good movie, The Family Stone, the other night.  Sarah Jessica Parker played the girlfriend to a man, who was part of a very large family.  She was going to meet his family during Christmas time.  Before they met her, they judged her as stuffy and uptight and inappropriate for their son/brother.  After a challenging evening, she ended up leaving their home and going out with her boyfriend’s brother, played by Luke Wilson.  They went to a bar, and he tried to get her to loosen up. 

She was in tears, saying that she was trying so hard to please his family (and she was a good person, just anxious to seek approval), and all she could do was mess up and make things worse.  Do you ever feel this way?  Luke Wilson replied in a loving, pleading way, “You’re trying too hard.  Don’t try so hard.” 

I could really relate.  I’ve always tried so hard, starting when I was a young teenager.  I saw a chiropractor/accupunturist for a free consultation earlier the same day.  I don’t have any health issues, but I received the gift and figured it couldn’t hurt to get a free health consultation.  She said she’d never met anyone who did so much, as far as a daily routine of self-care, including journaling, working out, meditating, yoga rites, reading, walking stairs, etc. 

I described my healthy food plan and told her I’d been exercising since I was 13 years old, 4 days a week, almost without exception.  I told her how I tapped for emotional health, took a variety of vitamin supplements and that I meditate 50 minutes daily for spiritual growth, and on and on with what I DO.   She said even though it all sounded great and I looked much younger than 40 years old, she thought I almost had this desperation in my eyes.

I knew immediately what she meant.  I do feel desperate at times.  What would happen if I stopped doing all that I do for self-care?  I guess you could say I’m very attached to doing it.  There is that perfectionism showing up again and the need to feel approval and good enough.   The whole day was about teaching me how to relax and NOT try so hard.  I think the Universe is sending me a message.  I need to stop trying so hard, relax and allow myself to receive joy.

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520