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Dear Friends,

So the million dollar question is “How do you love and accept yourself exactly as you are and not rely on external circumstances to determine your self-worth?” If I could bottle this solution, I would be extremely wealthy!

I made a list of what I call my “peace robbers,” things that I tend to worry about and fret over, things that repeatedly rob me of my inner peace. For example, sometimes I allow myself to feel rejected by others, and I give them my power. In other words, by giving them my power, I allow them to determine my feelings of self-worth and hence my mood.

So I do a tapping sequence by rubbing my sore spot and saying “Even though I feel rejected by others and give them my power, I am now willing to release this limiting belief and love & accept myself as I am right now.” I also follow some tips from Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.

I look in the mirror and say “I love you, Angie, as you are. I really love you.” This may be hard to do at first, and the more resistant you are to doing it, the more you need to do it to heal a part of you. It will get easier.

Next, any time negative thoughts come up, especially self-criticism, instead of fighting the emotion, I just go within and feel the emotion (get out of my mind/head). I allow the emotion to exist, and then, amazingly, it dissipates. I might also say “I am aware that my ego is creating this situation and feeling of separatism, and I choose to reclaim my power now.”

I can say this as many times as necessary. I will always have thoughts that try to convince me to feel bad, and my awareness is what saves me.

Imagine yourself as a small, frightened child, because this part does exist inside of you. Would you criticize this little child and berate her because she was afraid, or would you compassionately reassure her that all is okay and she is safe? You would do the latter. Why should you treat yourself any differently? Do not tolerate any self-criticism. It doesn’t serve you or anyone else in any way. Protect your inner child.

You will be well on your way to self-acceptance if you will begin to practice these simple and practical, yet powerful, exercises. Create a wonderful day!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com/squeeze.html

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Dear Friends,

I think that the answer to ALL of my problems is self-love and self-acceptance.  Being a compulsive personality, it’s easy for me to want everything perfect and orderly and planned out.

As a result, I like to set goals for myself and set up all sorts of expectations about where I should be at in my life, with career, body weight and size, spiritual health, relationships, etc.   After all, I’m very familiar with the law of attraction and how thoughts are things that vibrate and reflect back to me my current reality.

The problem is that sometimes I get stuck in what I call “stinking thinking.”  I know how my thinking actually magnifies to me what I believe about the world, and if my beliefs are negative, then I can expect pain and suffering.

The other problem is that I get so caught up in HOW I’m going to accomplish my desires (back to the goal-setting) that I can easily lose my serenity.

When I really began to scrutinize my goals (for example, to be financially independent and a magnate for Divine prosperity and to be a normal size 6), I asked myself why do I want these things?

Well, I want to have enough money so that I can have enough time to do exactly as I want (travel, create, help others to heal, be with my family, etc.).  Why do I want these things?  So that I can feel at peace within myself.

I want to be a couple sizes smaller because I want to feel at peace with my body ALL of the time (not just sometimes). But it’s inaccurate to think I’ll be at peace if I release weight.  I’ll stay be the same person with distorted thinking in a thinner body.  Ironically, the weight just gives me a reason to be distracted from finding peace.

So ultimately, I just want peace and to feel safe and loved.  How do I get that?  By loving and accepting myself exactly as I am right now with no strings attached and by loving what is my current reality (continued in part II).

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko

PS:  If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS:  Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom?  Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com/squeeze.html

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Dear Friends,

I’ve been speaking about bringing Presence (a dimension of consciousness and awareness) into our daily lives and making that our main purpose.  
Per Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth), as we begin to dis-identify with our thoughts, emotions and reactions by recognizing them for what they are, our sense of self shifts from being the thoughts, emotions and reactions to being the awareness, the conscious Presence that witnesses those states. 

How can this help with parenting?  I know I’m guilty of giving my kids too much of the kind of attention that Eckhart Tolle calls ”form-based.” Form-based attention is connected with doing or evaluating. 

It seems I’m always asking my girls if they did a certain chore, their homework, took their vitamins, emptied the dishwasher, picked up our dog’s “Easter eggs,” and on and on.  The list is endless.

When I realized this I began to feel guilty for how little time I spend in formless attention with them.  That gave me an opportunity to release the guilt and just honor my current awareness.  It’s so easy to get bogged down in daily life that we forget to just be.

So how can we spend formless time with our loved ones, time devoted to just being?  When we interact with them, we can truly listen, be present to their needs, not thinking about future tasks, but just Being there.  Their soul will feel this, and we will feel great.  I’ve had these wonderful moments with my kids, and I intend to make them habits with the help of Holy Spirit.

When we truly engage with our children at the level of Being, per Tolle, “In that moment, if you are present, you are not a father or mother.  You are the alertness, the stillness, the Presence that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking.  You are the Being behind the doing.”

If our children act out and seem resentful and angry, maybe it’s because they don’t feel recognized.  Tolle explains how we are obviously superior to our child in the human dimension of form (bigger, stronger, know more), and that we may love our children, but that love is conditional, possessive, intermittent.  

He goes on to say,  “Only beyond form, in Being, are you equal, and only when you find the formless dimension in yourself can there be true love in that relationship.   The Presence that you are, the timeless I Am, recognizes itself in another, and the other, the child in this case, feels loved, that is to say, recognized.”

“To love is to recognize yourself in another.  The other’s ‘otherness’ then stands revealed as an illusion pertaining to the purely human realm, the realm of form.  The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognized, not on the level of form, but on the level of Being.”

This is so powerful to me!  We can’t fool our kids.  They know if we’re not really there for them.  We can DO everything in the world for them, including trying to rescue them and prevent their mistakes, and it will never be enough if we don’t give them our true heart and soul and Presence. 

We can apply this Presence to everyone in our lives, not just our kids.  I hope you find this as enlightening as I did and such a great reminder to be present to those around us.  Have a Present day!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

So what happens when we let go of our agenda?  It feels unnatural and like there is a gap there that we need to fill in with activity.  Just being has been difficult for me.  Being available to the moment, to what comes next. 

I’m not necessarily saying not to set goals.  I think the biggest benefit of goal setting is to cause us to feel uncomfortable when we set them and stir up emotion so that we then have an opportunity to reclaim our power from the negative emotion and discomfort.  I also think it’s important to set goals and then let them go, not caring if they manifest. 

Aren’t the best days when things just flow to us, we allow the good, we feel connected to the moments, we are present in the moment, we are Presence? 

When I’m attached to my agenda, I’m constantly analyzing and judging how well I’m doing.  Then at day end, I evaluate if I can feel good enough?  My ego will always tell me NO, because it has an insatiable appetite for more, more, more.

Eckhart Tolle tells a powerful story about a woman in her thirties who came to see him.  She was very unhappy and completely identified with her emotional pain and thoughts from an abusive childhood.  He asked her to focus on the feeling inside of her body and sense the emotion directly.  She began to cry, her body shaking.  He asked her if it was possible for her to completely accept how she felt in that very moment.

She angrily said, “No, I don’t want to accept this.”  But he encouraged her to sit with the feelings and see if it was possible to allow them.  After a minute or so, she said, “This is weird.  I’m still unhappy, but now there is space around it.  It seems to matter less.”

When she stopped resisting and directly focused on her pain, it could no longer control her.  Per Tolle, “Another dimension had come into her life that transcended her personal past–the dimension of Presence.  Since you cannot be unhappy without an unhappy story, this was the end of her unhappiness…emotion in itself is not unhappiness.  Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.”

Tolle had witnessed the arising of Presence in another human being. How fulfilling is that!  As a coach, I have witnessed the same in myself and in others.  It is what I love about being a coach! 

Tolle explains that, “The very reason for our existence in human form is to bring that dimension of consciousness into this world.  I had also witnessed a diminishment of the pain-body, not through fighting it but through bringing the light of consciousness to it.”

I have been experiencing more of this Presence in myself as I allow it and actually ask God/Holy Spirit to show me how to act, think, speak and feel.  It is very comforting to me to know that as I live my life, I don’t have to gauge my success on how well I’ve met my lengthy agenda.  Instead, I can ask if I’ve allowed more Presence to shine through myself that day.  It’s not easy, but it is more fulfilling!

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

I have always been very hard on myself.  Somewhere along the way, I learned that working hard equated to making money.  The harder I work, the more money I make.  Is it any wonder that subconsciously I don’t want to be more “successful”?  I’d like to think I don’t get my kicks by working my butt off, but considering my natural inclination to burnout, maybe I do? 

My conclusion:  I do subconsciously want to work hard and burn out (because that’s what I do), and, at the same time, my subconscious mind won’t let me go further because it fears I might actually die.  So I put the brakes on so that I’m not TOO successful or great.  

I keep listening to my inner voice that says, “You already have to work too hard to be where you’re at, and you can’t handle any more.  Life is tough.  Making money is tough.  Clients are difficult and unwilling to change when it comes right down to it, and so why even try?  You aren’t creative enough.  You don’t deserve more than this.  Being happy and abundant aren’t natural ways of being.  Just stop with it all.”

Right now, I’m on day seven of a 21-day Consciousness Cleanse through Debbie Ford’s book  called the same (a couple of months ago it was a physical cleanse and now this).  It’s like a soul journey to awaken my consciousness.  In conjunction, I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.  Both processes are revealing insights to me.

For example, being  strongly attached to meeting agendas  and to-do lists my entire life, I find this needing-to-perform aspect of my ego very tough to relinquish.    It’s much easier for me to be HUMAN than for me to be BEING.

I haven’t felt like writing the last two Fridays, like I normally do, mostly because I think I just needed to rest my mind and relax.  Even now part of me doesn’t want to write but not because I’m being a rebel or need to rest.  It’s that part of me that says if I do decide to write, ONLY do it because I really want to and not because I’ll feel like a failure if I don’t. 

This is really new thinking for me.  1) I didn’t write the last two weeks when I didn’t feel like it; and 2) I am actually writing now because I was inspired to share this process with you.  I sense that this means I’m letting go of pleasing others and following my own heart and soul guidance.  Yay!

I’m changing my behaviors by becoming aware of my beliefs/thoughts/emotions, acknowledging and feeling them without judgment, releasing them and reclaiming my power.  It’s a pretty cool process!  Read more along this line on my next article. 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

Consider picking up the book, “Finding Clarity,” by Jeru Kabbal, an eloquent and spiritual man who touched thousands of lives .  The last words that he wrote were:  “You are already that which you long to be.” 

How true this is!  Our search is over if we want it to be.  I’ve been aware of doing parts work for some time, where we identify different aspects of our subconscious, our inner child, teenager, and so forth.  Jeru describes this process clearly and simply. 

He explains that by the time we are four years old, our defense system and personality are formed because, by then, we have already experienced everything we are going to experinece, love, rejection, sadness, aloneness, punishment, etc..  We’ve learned all of our major attitudes and strategies, and underlying all of this is the infant mentality that we are helpless and need someone to take care of us.  Our survival depends on it.

Jeru suggests we become partners with our subconscious mind that records every single activity or experience in our lives.  Since our personality remembers how helpless we were as a child, we repeatedly play those “helpless” movies.  He suggests that our adult self has a conversation with our four-year-old self.  It might sound something like the following.

Per Jeru, “The goal is to re-educate this child by communicating to him or her:  ’Regardless of what you have learned in the past, regardless of what fears you have experienced, and what desires you have created, regardless of what strategies you practiced to stay alive, I want you to know tht you live with me now.  You are totally safe.  Someone is with you twenty-four hours a day.  I can take care of you better than anyone else in the world.  I am big and strong, I can earn a living, and I can take care of you.”

If you are intrigued by this topic and want to find clarity in your life, it is absolutely essential to create a partnership between your conscious, subconscious and super conscious (Higher) selves, putting the true powerhouse, the Higher Self, in charge.  I believe if you do this, life will begin to be easy and flowing. 

Here’s to the new management in town, the Higher Self!  I love knowing that I have hired a brilliant, creative, compassionate, loving, intelligent, powerful, peaceful, joyful, take-action boss to guide my inner “team.”  Knowing this, I can relax and let life come to me.  Will you join me?

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

Would you like to help with the oil spill tragedy but don’t know how?  I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”  Well, here is one way to be part of the solution.   There is so much fear and negativity around the oil spill.  It is very easy to get on the critical bandwagon and complain and gripe about it and blame everyone.  What good will that do though?  It’s been done.

We can be much more effective if we don’t buy into all of this fear and stay above it.  Consider not watching the news every day, at least not right before bed time.  

Join me in directing light to the Gulf at 9:00 p.m. Central Time every night for 5-10 minutes and saying the following prayer (I’m simply passing this on–I did not write this):

God or Higher Power,

Please give us the wisdom and knowledge of how to clean up the oil spill.

I pray for the:

Health of all sea and bird life;

Protection and good health of all of the cleanup workers;

Restoration of the livelihoods of Gulf coast residents;

Strength and guidance for the President and governmental leaders in:  cleaning up the spill, providing transition to those who have lost their livelihood, and forming new policies to prevent this kind of thing from happening again;

Forgiveness and compassion to those who caused it;

Guidance in what direction to take to prevent future catastrophies like this.

For the remainder of the time, send love to the Gulf area.

We can positively influence the creation of solutions by doing this prayer.  We are all connected as one collective consciousness, and so when one person is in fear and turmoil, it affects everyone.  The flip side is also true.  If we retain loving thoughts and just relax, this affects everyone as well.  Be peace.  Be love. 

Thanks for joining me in this prayer opportunity and for spreading your light.  I encourage you to send this prayer to everyone.  Keep spreading the hope and then expect miracles. 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

My message is simple today.  See beyond our own shadow and those around us.  I know that I am more than just a physical human body (or even a hologram as some would say).  I am the Creator of all that I experience because I am an extension of God. 

When I feel down or angry, it is easy to fight this feeling.  I tend to want to expect to feel happy all of the time.   Although I do think it’s realistic to be in joy (a deeper sense of calm that all is well) at all times, I don’t think it’s realistic to avoid the negative side of human emotions.

Therefore, lately I’ve decided to just stop trying so much to ”mold” reality to my liking.  Why not mold my liking to reality?  When I act particularly bratty or spoiled, like I have been doing a lot here lately, I could just give up on myself and say, “Why do you even make the effort?  You can’t help anyone because you can’t even help yourself.” 

So I’ve been thinking that maybe I’m not meant to help others in the way I think I should.  Let me just allow myself to follow my moods and inspirations and let them take me where they will.  In this way, I give myself some space to breathe and process.  It does sort of feel like I’m floating around in the ocean, without any indication as to which way the wind will blow.  At least I left the shore, right?  In this way, I’m looking beyond my shadow into the murky unknown and trusting that God has something great in store for me.

Liken it to a very young child who is hungry and cranky after a day at the amusement park.  Most times, a mother is not going to get all mad at the child; instead she sees the situation as it is and comforts the child.  The mother “sees beyond the shadow.” 

The most loving thing we can do for ourselves and others is to see beyond the shadow, especially when someone is acting out rather foolishly, and even dangerously, to get attention.  We can see beyond the human limitations of this experience and just LOVE. 

I’m not very good at this, I admit.  I have stated to God that it’s important to me to relinquish my defects that stand in the way of my usefulness to God and to others.  I have asked Holy Spirit (the Illuminator, the Voice of God) to bridge the gap between my ego consciousness and my God consciousness.  I’ve invited this type of loving understanding of myself and others.  Loving understanding and compassion equals “seeing beyond the shadow.”  That is all I can do for today.  And that is enough.

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

Are you able to set firm boundaries with other people?  Do you feel that you are responsible for other people’s happiness?  Maybe you feel the need to “fix” people and control outcomes.  Do you feel like a doormat for others?  I’ve heard it said that we will never allow someone else to treat us worse than we treat ourselves.

This approach to life can be a full-time job, not to mention tiring. It takes a lot of energy to play God.  That may sound a little harsh, but I’m being serious. Whenever I get in “GOD” mode, I worry about what will happen tomorrow, I worry about what my kids are eating or aren’t eating and should be, I worry that I’m not doing a good enough job for people, I worry that I’m not a good enough wife or Mother, not sexy enough, not fun or playful or patient enough.  You name it.  The name of the game is Worry with a capital W. 

When I’m on my worry pot, I am actually arrogant because I must think that my worrying will accomplish something or at least control those around me a little bit more. Otherwise, why would I do it? Sadly, it never serves any useful purpose.  It lowers my vibration, my energy, and I get less and less done. 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t take your feelings or concerns seriously.  They are trying to tell you to take some sort of action, even if that means doing nothing.  Just relaxing.  You can begin to turn things around by listening to your intuition and tapping on how you feel.

Once you start to gain self-respect and self-esteem, it’s important that you protect this new found confidence and serenity.  My motto is that I will give to people until I start to resent my giving.  If I can’t give freely, it will hurt the other person more than help him/her.  Further, it will hurt me too as evidenced by this quote:  “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person dies.”  

A boundary is an invisible line that we draw in the sand.  We must learn to say NO to people’s requests for our time and not be the martyr or the people-pleaser.  Our first priority is to please ourselves so that we can be the best person for others.  We will be more emotionally available and present to the moment.  Another example of setting a boundary is not tolerating or accepting poor treatment such as physical or verbal abuse from another.   

We can simply and firmly state, “I don’t appreciate how you’re treating me, and I am no longer willing to tolerate it.  When you want to talk to me or interact with me respectfully, let me know.”  

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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Dear Friends,

If you’re like me and get into complaining and griping at times, how does that work for us?  Does it not create more suffering?  Can I look at the “inopportunities” and inconveniences and painful traumas and events in my life as opportunitiesto practice love, love for myself and/or for another human being?  I’ve heard many compulsive overeaters and people with cancer say that they see their disease/diagnosis as just that.  It allows them to springboard into a new level of awareness and growth. 

Is it possible to turn our weaknesses into strengths? If we didn’t experience any pain, we’d never be nudged into expanding our outlook on things.  Problems allow us to find solutions.   So while it’s a difficult thing to truly live life sometimes, would we really have it any other way?   If we could snap our fingers and no longer have any negative emotions to contend with, no more heartaches, everything would be nirvana, peaceful, heavenly, would we do it?

If this were possible, how would we really know the opposing emotions of love, peace, joy and abundance?  We’d have no foundation with which to compare our experience if everything were perfect.  Just now, my girls called me and told me that BOTH of them had forgotten their keys and were locked out of the house.  I was annoyed at first because I was in the middle of writing which I normally set aside time to do on Fridays, and I don’t like anyone crossing this boundary. 

I decided to come home and let them in the house, rather than make them wait until my husband comes home.  I wanted to shame them for forgetting their keys, but I didn’t see anything.  I observed that it was just another opportunity to practice my principles of love and acceptance and being human.  Believe me, I’m not really great at it…yet.  I will keep trying and know that I will keep expanding toward more love because that is what I really WANT. 

So in this moment, I prefer love over petty annoyances.  That may change in the next instant because of my human dualistic nature.  Isn’t life grand?  All of it! 

Peace & Blessings,

Angie Monko, 314-422-6520

PS: If you’re really serious about doing something different about your weight and body image issues, see the attached qualifying form. http://www.harmonyharbor.com/qual.html

PSS: Do you have friends and family that are also interested in creating their own destinies of joy and freedom? Send them to www.harmonyharbor.com. 

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